Addison's new thing as of the past FEW weeks has been to start screaming about 15 to 20 minutes after we put her down at night. Seriously, the little stink can scream so loud that the little muscles in my forehead twitch with pain and my eardrums want to run away from my body.
Which, of course she LOVES. And she's usually very good, just hangs out and baby talks a little. Stays put. Sometimes she snuggles up to us.
Then we try every once and a while to put her back in bed. When it started, she'd go back in about 20 minutes. But lately, it's LATE. Like, last night I think it was 10:30ish.
Tonight, I finally stuck to my guns and said I'd give it a solid 20 minutes of screaming before I'd break. Guess what? At around 19 minutes, she stopped crying. Like, instantly. Seriously, it was.... SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS, and then_____________ silent.
Hopefully, she's ok! Do I go check? Yea, probably not.
Anyway, so bedtime is around 7:30. We have a good routine. Dinner, play, jammies, sleep. Sometimes there is a bath in there. Pretty normal, and like clockwork. Consistent.
I'm thinking that she just wants to hang out with us, and she's asserting her "toddler authority".
She's also thrown a few humdinger's for tantrums lately. Like tonight, she screamed because I offered her our chicken. It was so bad, I had to remove her from the room to let her calm down. Haha, and then so I tried cheese, yogurt, green beans, (no!, no!, no!), and she ended up eating mangoes. And then, just for kicks, I tried a donut. Mostly because I wanted to see if she'd EAT something, anything - trying to rule out that she was sick. Guess what? She ate the whole thing. Little stink. Also, I realize that I am mother of the year for doing this.
Anyway... I feel bad for her sister, who is the AMAZING master of sleep. Like, she should win awards for her sleep aptitude! Also, for dealing with her sister's screaming.
There is also the issue of naps. They turned 19 months today (OMG!). And over Christmas break we tried going to one nap, and what we had were two tired babies. I even tried alternating days, and it didn't seem to work.
But I do think Addison is more ready than Lauren for two naps.
Anyway, maybe that has something to do with it. But even on the mornings after she does her night owl thing, she is super tired and cranky. When she is staying up with us, she's yawning and floppy like she's tired. So, I don't really think she's just getting too much sleep.
So, what do you guys think? Are we being played? Would you let her cry it out? Is this a phase? A developmental thing? Any ideas?
Thanks and... yawn.
16 comments:
Baby C has always been a TERRIBLE sleeper. He has had a few very short (like a few days at a time) stints of sleeping well, but he is nearly 18 mos and he is still not sleeping through the night. Yeah, I feel your pain. I have no right to tell you this since I don't always do it, but the best thing to do is let her cry it out. She's clearly tired since he still needs two naps, she just wants to play. And why shouldn't she scream if the end result is hang time with Mommy and Daddy (AND no sister to share the attention)? But, like I said, I don't always heed my own counsel on that.
We go in and tell C to lay down, give him his binky if he lost it, and sometimes rub his back for a few seconds. That has helped a lot in teaching him that we know he's crying, he's fine, go back to bed.
As far as switching to one nap- C made the move himself several months ago. He just wasn't tired for his morning nap. BUT... for a few weeks he couldn't make it until after lunch for an afternoon nap. It made everything so difficult!! What finally worked was to give him "quiet time" during his previous morning nap time (movie or reading). Then do an afternoon nap as early as we could (right after lunch), and sometimes he needed some quiet time just before dinner as well. That lasted a few weeks before he seemed comfortable with the single nap; then we gradually moved the afternoon nap to 1:00 pm and that's where we have it now. It just took time, and the first week or two is the worst. Then it's fine. Every kid is different though, so listen to your mommy instincts because they will tell you what is best for YOUR child :) GOOD LUCK!
Sleep is always a problem somewhere. I found the site Askmoxie.org to be very helpful for me. Mostly because someone else has been through it, or is having similar issues.
My thought is that it is likely a phase and it will pass. Sleep changes a lot the first couple of years, and it does not seem to matter what you do. It is going to be what it is.
I would say do what feels right for you, and do what you need to do to survive.
I love your posts cause I read them and feel like I could be reading about my OWN daughter who is 18 months. The similarites are crazy!
My daughter S starting doing that a while ago. Screaming after she had been down a while. I was too exhausted to sit in her room and rub her back so she would go back to sleep, so instead, I would bring her into bed with me and banish my hubby to the guestroom bed. Umm. . . yeah, S got very used to sleeping with Mama and this became a routine. I finally said enough is enough and I let her cry it out. It hurt my heart, and she cried for a solid 20 minutes, but sleep has been SO much better ever since.
I say you're probably getting played just a little. I know I was. Good luck. :)
Yeah, my daughter does this too sometimes, and yes, she is playing you - but in a sweet way, she wants to hang out with you. But yeah, she needs to learn that sleep time is not hang with mommy time, and you'll have to let her cry it out. Which is torturous, but needed.
My daughter did this as well...at about the same age. She's 33 months now. She would wake up screaming about an hour after we put her down...and continue to scream (like making herself sick scream) until we came to get her or took her out of her crib. We decided to let her cry it out one night. I let her cry for 5 minutes, went in told her it was ok BUT didn't pick her up and left. Increased by 5 minutes each waiting time. It took over 2 hours that first night...but that was the only night. The next night she screamed for 4 minutes and went back to sleep. I didn't even have to go in there. And our rule now is, 5 minutes...unless there sounds like there is somethign really wrong.
Oh...and the screaming was painful. I was crying because I felt so bad for letting her cry...but looking back, it was the best thing we did for her, because she has no problems putting herself back to sleep now.
Good luck to you!!
I agree with Leah above, that I like your posts because I can SO relate! Macie went to one nap around 15 months, but I will say that it took about 3 months for her to actually make up her mind (not very reassuring, is it?). Seriously, I thought my summer was a bit of a wash because her schedule was just so off...one day she would need two naps, but only take one and then be super cranky, etc.... So hearing that your girls are still taking two (awesome!) it sounds like it's just the start of the 3 month transistion. And the whole eating thing, well, this is just my opinion (and you know every child is different, so this is just my own experience) is that she'll eat what you fix if she's hungry enough. I don't blame you for the donught at all (Macie has had much frozen yogurt in her short life), but usually if we just don't compromise on what she's eating, then the next morning she's ready to gobble up whatever we give her. That being said though, Macie has always been in the 90th % for weight, so I never felt like I had to battle to keep her full because she's always grown so fast. You're doing a good job mom, just keep at it! Let us know how it goes!
My vote is she is playing with you, stick to your guns and make her stay in her bed and I think she will go back to sleeping well again!
I hear you on the food thing though, mine will not eat any of their dinner but gobble up any snack I would offer them. Toddlers are crazy!!
My vote is she is playing with you, stick to your guns and make her stay in her bed and I think she will go back to sleeping well again!
I hear you on the food thing though, mine will not eat any of their dinner but gobble up any snack I would offer them. Toddlers are crazy!!
Thanks for the feedback guys!!! It always makes me feel better!
So tonight, we've done cry it out for about 40 minutes. She stopped crying about 5 min ago. It's so heartwrenching! It makes my stomach churn and my teeth grind! Hopefully tomorrow night will be better.
Ugh!
Leah! How do I get an invite to your blog?
Sorry if any of this is repetitive as I didn't take the time to read comments already posted (bad blog reader!). Two thoughts for you:
1. Ask your pediatrician if she might have silent reflux (which can be easily treated). It could be that she lays down for bed and gets some reflux that doesn't come all the way up and out, but burns. This is how we discovered B's reflux although hers wasn't silent (she would lay down and 10 minutes later wake up puking).
2. If 1 isn't the answer, she's totally manipulating you and sounds like she needs MORE sleep, not less. If I were you, I would let her cry it out. Our twins went through a phase where they would randomly wake up and cry in the middle of the night for like 5 minutes and then stop and go back to sleep (both of them in the same room).
I say stick to your guns. Our boys have gotten used to the 7:30 bedtime, but they have tried to play us sometimes. But if we give in, they are awful tired the next day. I try to find the humor in when they are trying to assert their will on us (even while it hurts my head). Yesterday, Liam was screaming for a treat right while I'm making dinner. He kept screaming what he wanted louder and louder. I'd answer "No, thank you. We're going to have dinner." and he'd yell louder. Finally, I looked at him and said, "Just because you are saying it louder, doesn't mean I'm going to change my answer." I know, big words for a 2 1/2 year old, but he got it and walked away.
Sounds to me like you're being played. It gets even more interesting as they become more creative. Charlotte's latest trick is to poop after we put her in her crib at night, then call out to us, "Change diaper, Mommy? Yes! Poopy!" She knows we're listening and would never let her spend the night in a poopy diaper. Sometimes, the diaper is just wet, but she wins because we go into her room to check.
She's totally playing you. Totally.
I was so hardcore but now that they're growing up I actually enjoy the 5 minutes if they wake up and want to come snuggle for a bit with me. :)
I am so bad at letting babies cry it out BUT I have SO MANY friends that sleep train their children this way and their kiddos are awesome sleepers. If she stopped crying after that amount of time - I would continue to do it and I bet the time will get to be less and less. They definitely learn quickly. I'd stop taking her out of her crib to hang out - she probably knows very well that if she screams that means you will come get her. :)
Good luck, Mama! I know how hard it can be to stick to your guns.
Welcome to toddlerhood. Those toddlers are smart! She's got you wrapped around her finger... or did. I hope a few nights of not giving in made a difference. It's a phase and she'll get better. We still can't go in to our kids after bedtime without disatrous results- like being awake for hours in the middle of the night. I HATE listening to them cry, but I have to convince myself every time, that if I give in, it's going to be that much worse, so it isn't worth it.
The 2-1 nap transition is the hardest. Sort out nighttime sleep before tackling that. It sounds like maybe she isn't getting the sleep she needs at night right now, so I personally wouldn't get daytime sleep until I was sure she was sleeping enough at night.
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